I still don't know what to feel. All I know is I'm so tired. I'm so tired of what we have. I just want to stop. Just stop thinking and talking. I want to run away. Away from you. I want to erase. Erase you from my mind and forget about what we have. I want to hate you... so much. But why can't I start doing all these? What else do I need?
We've been together for so long now and there's a lot of things to throw away. I want to us to have peace and to have a better understanding of each other. Everyday of our lives all I do is talk you out of misunderstanding and all you do is turn you back on me. I'm so tired of insisting myself to you. I don't feel good anymore. Whenever I tell you how tired I am on this, all you do is tell me that you feel twice of what I feel. And you only say this if I tell you so. Gaya gaya?
I don't think its fair. 
Don't you have any other things to say than the things I say? This is not what I want in a relationship. I choose you because I want peace. I want understanding and and passion. I choose you because I want to be loved and feel significant to my better half. But what is happening to us? It's the entire opposite.
I love you.
I'm working my ass out to save our goddamn thing for each other. But there you are, you got nothing to do but feel happy of less important things, being sick of unknown dizzy head, sleeping yourself to eternity, or just being you fat-rude-lost-in-space self.
I miss you.
The only consolation I have for myself is hugging your fat belly, kissing your hairy face, and having orgasm with your rock hard huge thingy. I don't count your time when picking me up after work and see your frowning face when ever I open the car's door. yes, I miss the old you. The you that I really love to cuddle with. The you who brighten up my days. The you who I dream of every night in a romantic story. The you who I kiss and I'm lost in the land of nowhere.
I'm tired... of you being like that. But the truth is I never want to let you go. I want to understand you and embrace you for who you are. I want to shut up and let you do the talking.
I have a tired mind. But my heart is not tired of loving you.
1 comment:
you may not see me as someone with words worth considering since i'm still surviving a break-up.
however we acknowledge that people change - we don't want to believe it in our partner - but we know how unfortunately real this is.
consider what you want now from before and what are u willing to compromise on these wants. frolic on the idea of being alone again because it can heal you and you might realize what should really come first in your life. embrace change - and all the good things that come with it.
goodluck to us who have loved and fought.
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